The religious holidays, religious or not, are always a pain or, as my American friends (or the characters of TV series ) a pain in the ass. I then I put my best and came up atheist, vegan, overweight and badly dressed, almost a Grinch with water retention, herbivore (it is green) and disheveled! Want to know how I and my fellow humans survive the holidays? There are various methods which I will illustrate:
1) The hard-line: here's the lunch in my pajamas, slippers and hair greasy butt of consumer jokes guests to put their elegant comic monologues in which you tease the little boy and all the holy family, distributed leaflets about the life and vegan you constantly asking questions like: do you know how it's done that? You know how much pain he caused? In place of the placeholder you put the plates with the words "killer" and so on. This approach certainly allows you to survive the Christmas season but has a sad epilogue: no gifts under the tree for you, you were sooo bad and usually Aunt Adele call an exorcist.
2) Line subtle: here's combed, well-dressed and emaciated and serve meals to guests of the cheating-omnivore: ravioli with ricotta cheese (vegan) and the sauce (seitan), roast (always seitan) with potatoes, fillets (ditto) with grassissime sauces, desserts varied. Prepare little thoughts for all: a smell, a purse, a basket of specialty and at the end, while they go away, revealing all the squalid poverty: 1. you are not lost weight, wear a jacket, 2. that was seitan, 3. The leather handbags are , the scent is not tested on animals, the products are vegan ! After brushing all can not say anything and they will go away with my tail between my legs.
3) The ideal world: Do not celebrate Christmas.
4) The ideal world the nth power: celebrate cicciovegani between atheists / agnostics in the kitchen just to revel in the joy and curse. Receive gifts cruelty free and do the same. In the end, a culmination of a dream, falls on the government!
5) Line cagasotto: suitable for a day and you eat only vegetables while you strafogano of beasts of every kind. Usually the third Christmas mass murder so his family by putting rat poison in the knuckle. In any case, even if you survive in prison and touches you eat vegetables for good.
Whatever your line of defense I wish the holidays as smoothly as possible!
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